Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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