What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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