Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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