You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
