Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
