Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
