my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
