Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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