We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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