There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
