$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
