Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
