She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
