Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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