I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
