two words...techno handjob
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
