Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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