He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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