i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
