So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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