if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
