White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
