Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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