I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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