Will you blow on my dice?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
