i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
