All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
