Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
