Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
