We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
