i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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