There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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