it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
