I wish I could teleport
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
