YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
