How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Randomize
