Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
