so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
