The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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