Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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