I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
