Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
