try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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