last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
