can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Couch. On fire.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
