Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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