Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
