'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
