why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
