I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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