Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
