im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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