How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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